Cthulhu Cats

Ok, they don't have tentacles, they look more like mutant brain cats.

Though at least they don't shed...

*watches catfur tumbleweed*

Where's my beard trimmer? Here Ryoga... here kitty...

Read the rest!

This blog is 43% Evil

Of course, since they are using numerology without context of the content, my guess is that all sites will fall within the middle range.

Oh, and the value of Oz is 860.

Read the rest!

Movie review: The New World

I'll start off by saying The New World was a gorgeous movie. I'm sure it will at least get nominated for several visual categories for the Oscars (though I don't think it's eligible until next year). This film is more like a piece of art rather than a movie. That is it's greatest asset, and it's biggest flaw.

The story is conveyed by images and voice-overs more than action, much more so. If I wasn't enraptured by the imagery, I would have probably been lamenting how things seemed to drag. This is why The New World will probably end up doing poorly at the box office. Most folks aren't that patient, regardless of how pretty the film.

My only other qualms were some of the edits made things confusing, and James Horner's score was a little uneven. The score would go from "classical" pieces to interludes that could have been lifted staright out of Braveheart.

The acting was great. You could see that Collin Farrell as John Smith was practically ashamed of himself as he fell in love with Pocahantas (and he should have been), while Q'orianka Kilcher steals the movie (I'm also impressed that she actually speaks Algonquin now, having learned the language for the movie).

The movie also managed to avoid a lot of cliches it could have fell into. If you like history pieces, this is a good movie for you also. While it's not 100%, it also doesn't over-romanticize the period.

I think that one of the hardest things in reviewing this movie was: do I review it for myself, or for the general populace? Well, the general populace already has Roger Ebert and Bonnie Britton. This is my review, your mileage may vary.

Overall, I give it 4 of 5 buckskin wearing Native-American flying monkees.

Read the rest!

Smallville 100

Ok, I really can't go into this episode without some serious spoilers, so most of my stuff will be in the comments.

There is also !Spoiler! an article on Just Jared with pictures.

Remember, the links and comments are spoilers.

Read the rest!

Fear of Girls

Watching these guys makes me feel hip by comparison. What's really scary is that there are probably guys out there really like that.

Read the rest!

Are you effing kidding!?!

So yesterday I went to court for the trial of an ex-employee that stole roughly $100,000 in goods from the company I work for. I was subpeonaed as a witness for the state and had it known to the DA that I wanted this guy fully prosecuted rather than getting off on a wimpy plea bargain.

I show up, as does my old district boss. Then the defendent arrives, not looking at us. I'm looking forward to some karma being served up, as the state wouldn't have proceeded if they didn't have a solid case. The defense attorney wouldn't have tried to plea bargain if he thought he could get H off. And I knew the evidence they had... H's signature both shipping and receiving the stolen goods via UPS that were found in his apartment when the police served the search warrant.

The prosecutor is shuffling through a stack of papers, then asks someone "have you seen the H file?" I'm thinking good, he's up first. The prosecutor disappears, the the defense attorney disappears, then the defense attorney comes back and calls H over to him.

"The state is dismissing the case, Mr. H. You're free to go."
...
...
...
WTF?!?!?

My old district boss and eye track down the prosecutor to find out what the hell is going on. It turns out they lost the file, which had all of the documentation, and without that they had no case.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Read the rest!

How Evil are you?

How evil are you?

Read the rest!

Movie Review: Underworld: Evolution

I was somewhat surprised to hear that Underworld was greenlit for a sequel. I don't remeber the movie being that much of a success, and it was pretty bad, even by my rather forgiving standards. While Kate Beckinsdale was great to look at, especially in skin tight vinyl and a leather corset, she couldn't pull off being a badass vampire warrior. All she did was strut around with her guns held at arms length.



I wasn't even going to bother with the sequel, even with the promises of more Kate in the same outfit and out of it as well (though the nudity was pretty much PG-13, side-on with strategic blocking... Ozling was disappointed as well). Then I read a review on IGN that was fairly favorable and decided to give it a shot.

It is much better than the original. It is faster paced, more action, and Kate is much more believable this time around. Maybe she trained more, maybe she's had more physical roles since the original but she didn't have the look of a model dressed up to play with guns like before.

That's not to say it's a great movie, but it is a decent action flick. Granted, it commits the same mistake almost every movie or tv show with a super-strong makes in ignoring mass, and there are some other story holes, and I like my ending much better, but it was fun to watch.

Overall: 3 vinyl and leather clad gun-wielding flying vampire monkeys.

Read the rest!

Two for one quiz entry

I know you guys have missed the quizzes, so I dug a couple from stalking on MySpace...

What kind of Buffy-Verse Archetype are you?


Witch


Which Buffy archetype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Does this mean I get a hot lesbian girlfriend? Wait a minute... if she's... nevermind. Stop laughing Ozling.

The next quiz is a little more serious (and hopefully I haven't posted it before).

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Read the rest!

D&D meets Cops...

The scary part is that this could be real.

Read the rest!

Another personals response

This one is from someone named "Povo"...

I read your structure on myspace.com. But it not so - is much
Concerning you, I would like to know concerning you more.
If you to write to me on my address: aaaarree@yahoo.com
I could answer you faster. I the woman the widow without children, also
I wish to search correct for the person. The hope we could study
The friend the friend. Unfortunately I could not apply a picture nevertheless. But I shall be
It is necessary to send you it if you will answer my inquiry.
Write to me. You want to know more? THEN SEND me the E-MAIL ADDRESS.

All of the capitalization, spelling and punctuation are as sent. And I'm sure sending an e-mail to the addy in the response signs you up for a slew of spam as well as solicitations for pays sites.

Read the rest!

He told Wal-Mart "No"

This article is a very interesting read, especially if you're like me and like to see Wal-Mart get kicked in the shins. I have to applaud this guy for not taking the quick and easy way.

Read the rest!

Ultraviolet Trailer

I hadn't really paid any attention to this movie, which at first glance seemed to be typical videogame-to-movie fare following the tried and true formula of taking a hot actress, put her in a tight outfit and give her guns (note that I said tried and true... not Oscar-winning and profit-making).

I watched the trailer on a whim, and it could be good, kind of somewhere between Blade and the Matrix. Or it could suck like all of those videogame movies.

Read the rest!

Seal-Girl vs. Polar Bear

THis Japanese video makes me want to pass out seal hats at the zoo.

Read the rest!

Don't be a catasser

This wikipedia entry is amusing. Is the person that engages in catassing a catasser or a catassist?

I better go clean the litterboxes.

Read the rest!

Personal Responses

Below is typical of the kind of responses I get to my personals...

How r u? Whats going on? I tried to send ya a message over the weekend but my computer was going crazy lol. I saw your profile and thought I'd send ya a message. Do you have a woman? You are way cute :P I'd like to get to know you better. What do you do for fun? Well, add me as a friend I don't bite, I don't have any friends on here yet, I just joined lol. I sometimes go to my cousins house and she lives close to you, I am thiking I might go out there next month. Actually I got webcam on we can chat through there if you want, that can be fun sometimes :P You can get to my cam from my profiile. Well I have prolly bored you enough, but hope we can get to know each other! I am so tired of stupid guys my own age. Sorry I have never messaged a guy on here before and YES I am just a normal girl not some crazy stalker lol

-Jess

I spared you the large pink font. :)

This has all of the benchmarks of personals spam. Obviously the mention of a webcam is a dead giveaway. Also, there is the lack of using the adressee's name as well as the clever covering of geographic issue (the sender's profile lists her as being in Pittsburg, but she conveniently has a cousin she visits in an unnamed locale).

I don't know what's worse... that people send these out trolling for lonely men or that there are enough respondents that end up coughing up money to make this lucrative.

Read the rest!

New(ish) Computer

The PC I've had sitting in a box for months is finally up and running. I knew it would be a pain because I had a new video card to put in it, which of course did not want to cooperate, and hooking up a router for which I had bought only a 7' cable (back before I realized re-arranging my den would not work).

So after a couple of hours of cussing at the cat, who of course wanted to be where everything was going on, I have it going and have a live internet connection.

Unfortunately I had to cheat and do this entry from my old computer, because I can't remember my password.

D'oh.

update

OK, this is from my new computer. Yay me.

Read the rest!

Maryland sticks it to Wal-Mart

This article is about the new Maryland law requiring all employers with over 10,000 employees to pay a minimum amount of healthcare benefits or pay the difference to the state.

Out of four comapnies that fall into that category, only 1, Wal-Mart, doesn't meet the minimum. Not surprising considering news about how many Wal-Mart employees and their dependents rely on government health care.

One interesting topic is the notion that Wal-Mart would pull out of the state, like when they shuttered a store that went union. But that would be like throwing blood in the water. Sure, Wal-Mart could kiss off 53 of a few thousand stores, but what happens if this spurs other states to follow suit?

Of course, Wal-Mart touts that they offer health coverage for $23 a month and that they've increased their full-time average pay over the past year. They also neglect to mention that the bulk of their employees are part-time, or just what that $23 a month gets someone, because we all know that a part-time Wal-Mart employee can afford a $500 deductible.

The only fly in this ointment is the little voice in the back of my head complaining about government interference.

Read the rest!

New Year Resolution

Yeah, I'm late on this. Why should 2006 be any different than the last 39?

Last year I kept 2 of my 3 resolutions.
1) Cut down my salt intake - I haven't used my salt shaker in a year and have probably cut my sodium intake to 1/2 to 1/3 of what it used to be.

2) Regularly update this blog.

3) Go to the gym 3 times a week - yeah, not so much with keeping this one. :(

This year, I am making 1 resolution... to reduce the number of meals I get from restaurants in half.I realized I average 10 meals a week at or from restaurants, and mostly fast food. So this year I am shooting for no more than 5 a week.

I figure it will be cheaper and I'll lose weight. Eating my own cooking, I'll almost certainly lose weight.

So far this looks realistic. It's Thursday and I've eaten 2 restaurant meals (my week starts on Sunday), so I'm trending better than average, because unless I eat dinner Friday, lunch Saturday and dinner Saturday from restaurants I won't even hit 5 (I'm brown bagging lunch tomorrow).

Yeah, I know I should exercise. And put together my new(ish) computer.

Read the rest!

Clerks II Teaser

Clerks II Teaser

Read the rest!

1000 hits

Yeah, I know it's not a big deal for real websites, but for me it's kind of cool.

Read the rest!

The Return of Ray

Ray is an old friend of mine, both in pagan and gaming circles, that disappeared to Florida and went into servitude for the Mouse around 6 or 7 years ago.

Today, my cell phone rings with an unrecognized number. It turns out Ray is back in the state. He's still about 2 hours away, but that's a hell of a lot closer than Orlando Florida.

Read the rest!

Natural disaster/wonder quiz

Waterfall (click to see full sized result pic)


?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Read the rest!

One question personality test

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

This thing is a lot closer than the damned magical element critter test I took at Llewelyn.com.

Read the rest!

A Manly Blog Entry

A "how to podcast" video featuring French Maids. Hell, they know more about podcasting than I do... I don't even know what an RSS feed is for. And yes, this is Safe For Work.


Art of the Saber

I never considered using a lightsaber in reverse grip. One of the trouble with using reverse grip is that you don't have much power behind your attacks. That wouldn't be as much of an issue with a lightsaber. But I'd worry about accidental contact with the blade, especially along the forearms.

Yes, I'm still odd.

Read the rest!

Movie Review: Into the Blue

Testosterone warning

I didn't see Into the Blue in the movie theaters. How could I pass up a movie that had Jessica Alba in a skimpy bikini as its big marketting point? Yeah, there was something about treasure and sharks, but it was almost all Alba (and almost all of Alba). How could I miss this?

Into the Blue came out against Serenity.

Despite receiving some decent reviews, Into the Blue was out of the theaters in nothing flat. So when the DVD came out, I took a chance and picked it up, despite my original prediction that the movie would be awful.

Somehow between long shots of Alba's taut, glistening... anyways they managed to sneak a plot into the movie. While it's no Oscar winner, or even Pirates of the Carribean, it's a decent action/suspense movie. While it's not incredibly realistic, in fact I docked it half a monkey because the characters hold their breath so long it makes me want to reach for a stopwatch, it is not as far out there as many action movies.

I also want to point out that Ashley Scott gets undersold. She spends a lot of time in states of scanty garb, is incredibly hot, but gets totally overshadowed by the Alba hype. If they ever come out with Birds of Prey on DVD (and that's about all it would be), Ashley Scott is one of the reasons I'd buy it. Remembering her as a brunette in that series makes me wish they had cast her instead of Erica Durance as Lois Lane in Smallville.

So overall, I give Into the Blue 3 and a half scuba-diving flying monkeys.

Read the rest!

Lego Factory

This digital Lego factory is just brilliant. I remember having a ton of Legos whenI was a kid. I would spend hours building towns, then building something like a spaceship to crash into the town and sifting through the rubble to see which little Lego people died because they came apart.

Yes, I was an odd child.

Read the rest!

High speed time sink

I've decide there is no such thing as doing a quick update to my website, at least not how I see quick. I just wanted to add some campaign specific stuff for my Firefly campaign... upload a few documents, edit in the links, maybe add a pic.

An hour and a half later...

But at least I got it done.

Read the rest!