February Blues
I hate this time of the year. If it was up to me, I'd hibernate from Thanksgiving to St. Patrick's Day. There are anniversaries I don't want to dwell on this time of year... my father's death, my first stepfather's death, my ex-wedding anniversary... but I especially hate the one-two punch of Valentine's Day and my birthday. Just another flagrant reminder, complete with a deluge of media bombardment, that I get another year older alone.
I'm closing in on 40, and odds are now I'll never have children. While folks that know me would think that I would be overjoyed at this prospect, it also means that I am truly mortal... that when I am gone there will be nothing left behind. My family line ends with me, and in some ways that makes me feel like a failure. Maybe it's social programming or genetic drive that makes me feel that way, but it also hits me in a spiritual sense. I will be no one's ancestor. I'll be forgotten.
Okay, now I'm good and morose. Time for another beer.
I'm closing in on 40, and odds are now I'll never have children. While folks that know me would think that I would be overjoyed at this prospect, it also means that I am truly mortal... that when I am gone there will be nothing left behind. My family line ends with me, and in some ways that makes me feel like a failure. Maybe it's social programming or genetic drive that makes me feel that way, but it also hits me in a spiritual sense. I will be no one's ancestor. I'll be forgotten.
Okay, now I'm good and morose. Time for another beer.
posted by Oz at 8:39 PM
1 Comments:
While folks that know me would think that I would be overjoyed at this prospectI know you, and I don't think that. :) You've dropped a few hints in conversations that we've had, and the way you interact with Brenna. It would certainly be something outside of your comfort zone but I think that with a little work you would be a very good father. And 40 isn't too old either!
Remember, ancestors aren't just blood. You have your chosen family too. Someone has to teach Brenna how to speak Klingon! :)
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