Thursday, May 17, 2007

Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings

The ultimate geek trilogy showdown, Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings here.

See my take after the jump.

Of course, the editors had to use their vetoes to ensure Star Wars won. And they only use the original trilogy, not the prequel stuff.

How Oz would have voted:
Leia [x] vs. Arwen (slave-girl costume ftw!)
Obi-Wan vs. Gandalf [x] (tough call)
Chewbacca [x] vs. Gimli (how far can a wookiee throw a dwarf?)
Han Solo vs. Aragorn (tie - original scoundrel vs. the stubble king is too hard to call)
Yoda [x] vs. Gollum (your psycho bug-eyed ass I will kick)
Storm Troopers vs. Orcs [x] (at least the orcs can hit something... just ask Boromir)
R2D2 [x] vs. Samwise (How many times did R2 save their asses without whining?)
C3PO vs. Merry and Pippin (tie - they're all annoying)
Ewoks vs. Ents [x] (I would smile for days if I got to watch Ents chase around Ewoks and splatter them. Ewoks were the foreshadowing for Jar Jar. Ents are badass.)
Boba Fett vs. Legolas [x] (since it's the movies only - Boba Fett died as comic relief. If he'd been in LotR he would have been stepped on by an elephant).
Lando [x] vs. Boromir (Lando helped rescue Han and then blew up the Death Star. Boromir was orc target practice. Lando was big with the ladies, Boromir was big with hobbits. And Colt 45 vs. the Horn of Gondor trick?)
Emperor [x] vs. Sauron (Sauron was a CGI eye while the Emperor was the Dark Side personified.)
Darth Vader [x] vs. Saruman (like this is even a contest? Vader made Dark Side cool.)
Luke Skywalker [x] vs. Frodo (whiny kid who gets his hand chopped off vs. whiny hobbit who gets his finger bit off. One beats Darth Vader and becomes a Jedi, the author gets dragged down the mountain by his man-love friend and becomes an author... why are we still talking about this?)
George Lucas vs. Peter Jackson [x] Yes, George made what would become the foundation for many a geek's childhoods but Jackson is the better director. And I know we said original trilogy only, but I have three words for you: Jar Jar Binks).

So, out of 15 categories... 8 for Star Wars, 5 for LotR and 2 ties.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently, I'm the only one who watched Clerks II. Issue was decided there. Leia needed to get layed.

11:41 PM  

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